| You were all fired up and have bought self help | | | | simple, doesn't it? Procrastination is the number one |
| books, tapes, CD's to play in your car or while you | | | | cause of failure! You can't succeed if you never start, |
| jog, whatever. You've bought them on all kinds of | | | | right? The key to making the most of self-help |
| subjects, relating to one or usually more areas of | | | | information is STARTING THE ACTIONS |
| your life that you KNOW need improvement. You're | | | | SUGGESTED AND FINDING OUT HOW TO KEEP IT |
| frustrated now that what you heard or read just | | | | GOING.. I figured out after about a year of asking |
| doesn't seem to be happening for you. Nothing is | | | | people if they did readings and steps in the self help |
| changing! | | | | information I gave them and getting a "No" all the |
| When you first heard the recommendation from your | | | | time, that I better find out what was going on. |
| best friend about that book on relationships, it | | | | These weren't willful or rebellious people. They |
| sounded like such a great idea.... You actually went to | | | | WANTED to get better and knew they needed to |
| the bookstore to get it. You read the cover, the | | | | take action. The answer 90% of the time was that |
| back, even the inside flaps, and got jazzed up about | | | | they couldn't seem to get started and the 10 %who |
| it - "This is it!" you think, " This is what I've needed all | | | | did get started, just couldn't keep it going. |
| along!" A month later, the book cover is off, the | | | | Aha! So NOW you have the answer, the missing |
| book is face down by your bed, covered in dust. | | | | ingredient, and it's simple. Having the answer gets you |
| What's wrong here? Well, don't throw anything away | | | | on the path to a solution, right? The ultimate solution |
| just yet! You're just missing a vital ingredient. You're | | | | is to find out how to get yourself started on the |
| actually "this close" to using and benefiting from that | | | | self-help information you get and the best way for |
| self-help stuff you spent your hard earned money on. | | | | YOU to keep progress going once you start. |
| I'm big on self-help anything, which is a bit odd, | | | | Here's a start on what to do - Ask yourself these |
| considering I was a mental health therapist; my | | | | questions: |
| income depended on people needing help from ME. | | | | 1. Am I clear on what area I need to work on? (You |
| Why in the world would I give the people I worked | | | | think it's money, maybe, but could it be the hectic, |
| with anything else other than session time to get | | | | not enjoyable family routine of constantly eating out |
| better, when coming to see me was my livelihood? | | | | is messing up the budget...So is it financial or family |
| Cynical people won't believe this, but most of us got | | | | related?) |
| into the helping professions not to make money, but | | | | 2. Am I clear on the suggestions given to work on |
| to help others. I probably did lose clients to a self-help | | | | that area of my life? Or does this author sound like |
| book or video, but it didn't bother me a bit: See, I | | | | they have a PhD in Economics and can't fathom how |
| knew that life is lived OUT THERE in the real world, | | | | to balance a grocery budget for 4 kids? |
| not the little office where people came for help. We | | | | 3. Are the suggestions in the information (book, |
| ALL need all the help we can get in the real world! | | | | audio, video, whatever) actually "doable" for me? |
| One of the first things I did with most people is help | | | | (Example: I bought an exercise video which required |
| them gain confidence and faith in helping themselves. | | | | equipment to do it that I couldn't afford at the time, |
| I couldn't walk out the door with them; they had to | | | | and there was no hint of that on the cover!) |
| help themselves to function and improve. Self-help | | | | 4. Are the people around me going to help or maybe |
| information was obviously a valuable addition to | | | | object and not help? What do I do about that? |
| therapy.. | | | | (Accept, ignore or change their minds, is my answer!) |
| I never did think I could "do it all" for any one client, | | | | 5. What inside me keeps me from getting started? |
| anyway, no matter what the problem was. I was | | | | Negative thoughts? Real physical fatigue? How can I |
| just one person who knew "X" amount about | | | | get rid of them? What works best for me? (I |
| whatever was wrong - anxiety, depression, learning | | | | recently had a roadblock due to unexpected fatigue |
| disabilities, adjustment problems. Everyone had | | | | and found natural energy drinks - fortified bottled |
| multiple areas in their lives affected by these troubles | | | | water, basically - that were almost an instant "cure" - |
| - daily living, family, career, financial, spiritual, mental, | | | | I was amazed!) |
| emotional, and physical health....One hour a week | | | | Another thing I found is that self-help information is |
| wasn't going to cut it in terms of REAL help. So I | | | | often too complex and overwhelms people, so the |
| always tried to "over-deliver" and make sure they | | | | thought of starting and committing to something that |
| walked out the door with lots to do, including finding | | | | detailed was paralyzing! |
| self help guidance and using it. | | | | OK, one more question: If you got out that exercise |
| It turned out often that people wouldn't invest the | | | | tape or self-help book again, could you start using it |
| TIME needed for life and self-improvement. They'd | | | | to help your life if maybe one thing in your life were |
| come for an hour a week to talk about things, but | | | | different? Usually that one thing is FIXABLE. Maybe if |
| not apply what they learned to life outside the office. | | | | you had more time, or you could afford the needed |
| They'd buy the self-help books and other media I | | | | equipment (someone made a couple of the items for |
| recommended, but not read or use them. Failure to | | | | me and I found dollar store substitutes for others!), |
| do that was almost always related to TIME. The | | | | maybe if you had family support? |
| LAST thing on their to do list? Self-improvement. | | | | I challenge you that ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS GET |
| (That amazes me; I believe we are our own greatest | | | | STARTED on self-improvement and it will work for |
| resource.) I know, I know, "Life" takes over and | | | | you if you work on it. You might need to reread or |
| everything else becomes a priority in front of what | | | | listen or watch the video. Perhaps you could find a |
| would really make your life better. | | | | different author who is not so heavy on diagnosing |
| So I made it my mission to convince clients that their | | | | problems, but heavier on solutions. Maybe you need |
| lives would get better and they could leave therapy | | | | to go to an exercise class and get motivation from |
| if they took the suggestions and self help steps I | | | | other people in the same boat as you. |
| gave them. Guess what? The people who did that - | | | | The books and CD/DVD's you have may not work |
| using the suggestions - got better, left therapy and | | | | because it often isn't presented well on exactly what |
| went on to happier lives! | | | | to do first, how to do it, and how you keep it going! |
| What was their secret? Those people did something | | | | Your self-help information/ program WILL work if |
| with the information I gave them and what they | | | | you find out what to do FIRST and take the first |
| read or listened to -What made the difference? | | | | step to do it. Once you start, use that momentum |
| The answer - The secret ingredient I am talking | | | | of accomplishment to keep moving forward. Any |
| about - that most self help information is missing - is | | | | path is traveled one step at a time. No matter what |
| more astonishing than you could imagine because it is | | | | the speed, if your steps keep moving forward, you'll |
| so very simple! They found a way to get started | | | | get there! |
| and keep that first push going. It sounds laughably | | | | |