| A few weeks ago my community paper published a | | | | spanking because it is usually administered when the |
| letter to the editor which asked the question, "When | | | | parent is at their 'wits end' or the parent(s) is/are in a |
| will society stop domestic violence?"The answer to | | | | bad mood about something which sometimes has no |
| the question is surprisingly simple, but difficult for | | | | relationship to what the child did creates distrust. |
| people to accept, because domestic violence is | | | | How can a child continue to trust a parent, who has |
| ensconced in the deepest fiber of many | | | | betrayed them? Children trust their parent implicitly, |
| families--religion. Many religions teach that 'spare the | | | | but once that trust has been betrayed it is seldom |
| rod, you spoil the child' or that the Bible, specifically | | | | regained, because there is no way to achieve |
| the book of Proverbs, commands spanking.There is a | | | | reconciliation with a parent/person who doesn't |
| distinction, however, which is of key interest to | | | | acknowledge their unacceptable behavior.When will |
| fundamentalists, between the practice in King | | | | society stop domestic violence? The simple answer is: |
| Solomon's day of beating people on the back for | | | | When society stops sanctioning and promoting hitting |
| discipline. The latter is not prescribed anywhere in the | | | | or spanking children at home or in school. |
| Bible.Furthermore, it needs to be pointed out that the | | | | Twenty-two states allow corporal punishment with a |
| Old Testament contains passages that could be (and | | | | wooden paddle in schools. Is your state one of the |
| in some incidents have been) construed as divine | | | | twenty-two? Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Colorado, |
| endorsements of wife-beating, racial warfare, slavery, | | | | Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, |
| the stoning to death of rebellious children and other | | | | Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, New Mexico, North |
| behaviors that are outrageous by today's | | | | Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, South |
| standards.If our laws no longer allow these Biblical | | | | Carolina, Tennessee, Texas and Wyoming allow |
| commands, why then do we hit children, a.k.a. | | | | paddling children with a wooden paddle in schools.The |
| chastening to supposedly correct unacceptable | | | | real question is "When will you stop sanctioning and |
| behavior?The answer is not complicated. We cannot | | | | promoting hitting/spanking of children in your |
| conceive this Biblical and society-sanctioned form of | | | | community, your school, your state? As Voltaire |
| child discipline as abuse until we can honestly | | | | pointed out long ago: "We are not only responsible |
| acknowledge the mistreatment from our own | | | | for what we do, but also for that what we don't do." |
| childhood experiences and examine the shortcomings | | | | If you aren't part of the solution, you are part of the |
| of our own parents.As long as we believe, "I was hit | | | | problem. Take action to educate yourself and others |
| and I turned out OK," the practice of violence | | | | about this insidious crime against children.1. "Punished |
| through spanking will continue to be perpetuated in | | | | for life: Canadian study links spanking to addiction and |
| the home with the blessing of religion and a blind eye | | | | psychiatric disorders," Reuters, 1995-OCT-5. Online at: |
| from society--unless of course the 'spanking' goes | | | | Harriet McMillan, et al., "Slapping and spanking in |
| too far and the child is bloodied and bruised.One | | | | childhood and its association with lifetime prevalence |
| fundamental commonality among all men and women | | | | of psychiatric disorders in a general population |
| in prison is the fact they were all spanked. If | | | | sample," Canadian Medical Association Journal, |
| spanking created compliance to rules of society, then | | | | 1999-OCT-5, at: Jane Gadd, "Spanked children suffer |
| why is this the only commonality among people who | | | | intellectually," The Globe and Mail, Toronto ON, |
| are on the wrong side of the law?Our laws and our | | | | 1998-JUL-304. M.A. Straus, Corporal punishment of |
| cultural values are unambiguous concerning adults who | | | | children and adult depression and suicidal ideation," |
| hit, attack or verbally threaten other adults. Such | | | | Chapter 5 of: "Beating the devil out of them: Corporal |
| behavior is recognized as criminal and we hold them | | | | punishment in American families and its effects on |
| accountable.Why then when so much is at stake for | | | | children," New Brunswick, (2000), Page 60 to 77. |
| society, do we accept and promote physical assault | | | | Online at: This is a PDF file. You may require software |
| against children? Then we wonder why there is | | | | to read it. Software can be obtained free from: |
| domestic violence. Adults tend to repeat what they | | | | Adobe Acrobat5. P. Greven, "Spare the child: The |
| experienced more often than not. The old saying, | | | | religious roots of physical punishment and the |
| 'The acorn doesn't fall far from the tree' makes this | | | | psychological impact of physical abuse," Knopf, |
| point. The child accepts the message, "If I don't like | | | | (1991)6. Irvin Wolkoff, "Spanked child can become |
| something someones says or does, hitting is the | | | | self-loathing adult," The Toronto Star, 1999-NOV-26, |
| acceptable response."As a physical and sexual abuse | | | | Page F4.7. E. Larzelere, "A review of the outcomes |
| prevention specialist, I have heard all the rationales | | | | of parental use of non-abusive or customary physical |
| why spanking is the only form of discipline some | | | | punishment," Pediatrics 98:824-8318. Patricia McBroom, |
| children seem to need in order to get the message. | | | | "UC Berkeley study finds no lasting harm among |
| All these rationales are biologically faulty, because | | | | adolescents from moderate spanking earlier in |
| when a child is hit, his/her brain goes into shock and | | | | childhood," at: Maggie Fox, "Why some boys go bad: |
| when the brain is in shock it no longer can assimilate | | | | Gene study may show why abused turn violent," |
| information. Thus the message the parent intends to | | | | Reuters News Agency, 2002-AUG-1.10.Michael A. |
| convey is lost. Furthermore, hitting is a betrayal of | | | | Milburn & Sheree D. Conrad, "The Politics of Denial," |
| trust and engenders anger/rage not compliance.Think | | | | MIT Press, (1996). Read reviews or order this book |
| about it, if spanking is the magic solution for | | | | safely from online book store11. Andrew |
| correcting aberrant behavior, then why doesn't one | | | | Grogan-Kaylor, "The effect of corporal punishment |
| spanking solve the problem? Why does the child | | | | on antisocial behavior in children," Social Work |
| continue to repeat the same unacceptable behavior | | | | Research, Vol. 28, # 3, 2004-SEP, Pages 153-162.12. |
| over and over?Again the answer is simple--spanking | | | | "U-M study: Spanking can lead to more bad behavior |
| doesn't work and children repeat any | | | | by children," University of Michigan News Service, |
| behavior--acceptable or unacceptable because they | | | | 2004-SEP-08, at: The abstract is online at: You can |
| are in a learning process and they learn by | | | | also purchase the article from the same URL.14. Sean |
| repetition.Consistent consequences such as: time out, | | | | Fine, "Study links spanking to future alcohol abuse," |
| grounding, withholding something of significance, extra | | | | The Globe and Mail, Toronto, 1999-OCT-5, Pages A1 |
| chores teaches critical thinking, problem solving, | | | | & A13Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, specializes in |
| relationship building and understanding how they are | | | | verbal, physical and sexual abuse prevention and |
| the creator of the consequence.Whereas hitting | | | | recovery. |