Where My Son Lives

I watch as my son's eyes glaze over and I knowAsperger's Syndrome is part of a sub group which is
that for a little while at least I have lost him to thepart of a much larger category called Autistic
splendor of his world. My son suffers fromSpectrum Disorders or Pervasive Developmental
Asperger's Syndrome and it has taken us as parentsDisorders (PDD). Asperger's Syndrome (or Asperger's
a long time to accept that there are certain thingsDisorder) is a developmental, neurological disorder
that my son does that we will never reallycharacterized by severe impairment in social
understand.development, obsessive traits causing repetitive
When he travels around the house doing what thepatterns of behavior and very narrow and focused
doctors call "stiming" he looks at us like we are theinterests. They are usually very clumsy and have
strange ones that don't do this that we don notawkward movements. Unlike with Autism, children
require such activities in order to survive. "Stiming" iswith Asperger's show no delays in the development
self-stimulation, which can be opening and closing theof language skills. Once we actually knew what was
window blinds for extended periods of time, watchingwrong with my son a whole new avenue of
the tap drip or carrying around a shoe. In my son'sopportunity opened up for us. As a mother the first
case it is flicking a soft cloth right in front of histhing I did was research. I spent hours with my nose
eyes, which is visual stimulation. Sometimes it calmsin a book or staring at the computer screen. The one
him and other times it gets him all excited but it is aspiece of hope that I found in almost all of my
necessary to his existence as air is. When he isresearch was that with treatment children with
stiming he leaves our world and goes into his. I'veAsperger's can grow up to have fulfilling lives as
asked him what makes his different and he says inadults. Of course the earlier they receive treatment
his world he is popular, understood and feels happy.the higher the rate of success but my son only
It saddens me that this world cannot offer that tostarted receiving real treatment when he was 11 and
him.we have still seen great improvement.
I knew that there was something wrong at a veryI know from personal experience that the frustration
early age but it took me years to convince theof trying to find out what is wrong with your child is
doctors. I was just another mother over reacting toat a level that only parents who have gone or are
what was perfectly normal. As an infant he was colicgoing through can understand. It seems like the world
and it wasn't only at certain times it was 24hrs a day.is against you as doctors treat you as nothing but
The first time I slept through the night was when Iparanoid parents looking for a reason to excuse their
purchased a jolly jumper for him and he basicallybad parenting. Of course that is where the blame will
jumped himself to sleep. I curled up around thealways be placed by others...that as parents it is
bottom of him and we stayed there for 5 hrs. ToYOUR fault. There is no blame when it comes to
this day sleeping is still a big problem for him.Asperger's or any other PDD disorder. There has
As my son grew there was more and more strangebeen some research that shows a possible genetic
behavior. He never played with toys or with otherconnection but that is still not an excuse for blame. If
children for that matter. He walked on his tiptoeI could offer any advice it would be to never give up.
never flat foot. He was always flapping his hands andIf one doctor won't help you find another and do
would spend long hours playing with a pen that maderesearch especially on-line. There is excellent advice,
a clicking noise. If he became overly agitated I wouldsupport and resources to help you help your child.
put on high-heeled shoes and the clicking sound ofSaying that you need to mourn for your child
the heels on the floor would calm him. As long as heprobably sounds ridiculous because you have not lost
was awake he was either rocking or bouncing. Wehim or her. I advise the mourning as a way of dealing
had to put his high chair up against a wall so hewith the fact that that perfect child you always
wouldn't tip it over he rocked so hard. Once my sondreamed of having who would be so popular and a
reached the age of 4 his behavior turned aggressivestar athlete just is not going to happen. That is not
and out of control. It was a nightmare of hospitalsto say your child will not accomplish great things but
and doctors and he became a guinea pig for variousit may not be in the way you had hoped. Once you
medications. Over the course of a few years he wasaccept who your child is you will be much better
diagnosed with various disorders such as Attentionequipped to help him focus on all the special qualities
Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD), tourettehe has. It will never be easy but with treatment
syndrome, obsessive compulsive disorder and Nonprograms and a lot of love, the life of an Asperger's
Verbal Learning Disability (NLD). Finally at the age of 9child can be one of great joy and fulfillment for him
he was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome.and you the parents.