| My child got diagnosed with Sensory Processing | | | | Scout campout, I realized how mean their boys were |
| Disorder when he was 5 years old. Before that time, | | | | to Jeremy! Jeremy told me that they told him they |
| doctors told me that he'd grow out of his screaming | | | | didn't want to play with him. They didn't give a |
| and crying when I tried to dress him and that he was | | | | reason, they just told him to go away. |
| just a picky kid who was slow to move and to listen. | | | | When we got home, I tried to put together a |
| Five years ago, doctors weren't as familiar with the | | | | Halloween party for us all and mentioned that |
| signs of Sensory issues, or the Autistic Spectrum, | | | | perhaps my friends could mention this to their sons |
| and they just classified my hyper son as ADHD. | | | | and that whatever I needed to do to get Jeremy in |
| Over the years, I've learned so many things that | | | | line, I'd do. Their answer? "We need to talk". |
| work for my son. We keep the house low on | | | | At first I told them I'd talk, and I shared with them |
| stimulation, with little TV, music or computers. I know | | | | by email that I'm sure that Jeremy was hurt, |
| that he takes time to transition so we make sure he | | | | because I was hurt that they had stopped socializing |
| wakes up really early every day, which means he has | | | | with us, and that shouldn't we learn how to deal with |
| to get to bed early every night. Because he takes | | | | our differences? And regardless, no one should be |
| ADHD medication to get through school, he often | | | | mean in spite of our challenges. If it were me, I'd go |
| can't sleep at night so in addition to our night time | | | | right to the parent and tell him or her that their child |
| prayers, he gets a melatonin to help him sleep. I | | | | was saying inappropriate things, or I'd go right to the |
| know that if he doesn't sleep well, that morning will | | | | child and share with them that saying hurtful things |
| be a disaster. | | | | aren't going to win friends and then demonstrate |
| I also know that Jeremy needs a lot of activity | | | | another way of doing it. I would have shared with |
| which means that sports are a priority in our house. I | | | | them to come to me if Jeremy was saying anything |
| have spoken to the teachers and explained that | | | | or doing anything that wasn't nice as well. |
| while he has inattention, that ADHD is not the core | | | | But, nope, my friends have chosen to not socialize |
| to his issues, it's an underdeveloped system that is | | | | with us unless they have to, and because of that, |
| still building. It's the body, not the brain that is the | | | | I'm now reevaluating whether I want to talk it |
| issue. Additionally, he has auditory processing disorder | | | | through or even hang with them at all. After all it was |
| so we're aware that he has to be told things a | | | | them who heard me share my frustration of trying |
| number of time and we have to get his attention | | | | to figure my child out, and they knew how difficult |
| first before talking. | | | | my daily life was and were there as things got better |
| All of this awareness took trial and error and | | | | and better. And I never dreamed that they'd decide |
| thankfully, because we changed his diet, his defiance | | | | that they'd stop seeing us because of it and can't |
| is mostly gone. That happened in a few short weeks, | | | | imagine that they think this was the right thing to do. |
| by getting the preservatives out, high fructose corn | | | | And perhaps if they would have talked with me first, |
| syrup out, and the vitamins into his system. We | | | | then I would have been a bit more open to hearing |
| stopped doing white bread and gave him healthy | | | | about how frustrating it was from their end. |
| alternatives. The difference in his behavior was and is | | | | Instead, my husband and I have discussed that some |
| remarkable. He can now eat a bunch of candy or | | | | people just cut others off without saying anything |
| chips and he's off the wall within 15 minutes. | | | | about it, even if they're your so called best friends. |
| Imagine the complaining that we get from an 8 year | | | | They don't know what it's like to raise a child with a |
| old who wants to get high on candy like his peers. | | | | disability and they would rather not deal with it. And |
| We have to set limits and we discuss it thoroughly. | | | | even though I've told them I'll talk with them about |
| We let him have candy or sugar if there is nothing | | | | it, I feel like I've been kicked in the gut and I don't |
| planned but outdoor activity. Otherwise, we tell him | | | | even want to be around them right now. Perhaps in |
| that he will have to live with his behavior and if he | | | | time, I'll understand that they didn't know how to |
| can't control himself and if and when he goes a bit | | | | discuss this with me in the first place and that they |
| nuts while having a sugar high, which can be hyper or | | | | may feel that the kids need to get older before they |
| annoyed and whiny or uncomfortable somehow. The | | | | should play together. But I'll never understand why a |
| result is never fun. | | | | person would not apologize for their child being rude |
| Imagine a child though who has mostly gotten | | | | or mean. It's just a different way of handling things I |
| through a lot of these issues. At age 8, he's able to | | | | guess. |
| mostly determine how to conduct himself and when | | | | We all grow in compassion when we go through trials |
| he doesn't, his mom is right there making sure he | | | | and challenges and make it out on the other side. |
| apologizes to the kids or to the parents or | | | | Perhaps I have had to lose our best friends |
| whomever. He is on ADHD medicine which helps his | | | | temporarily so I can be of service to another family |
| impulsivity and constant talking but there are days | | | | who will go through the same thing. It's not fun, but |
| when he still has to apologize. But, he doesn't keep | | | | perhaps its part of life when you're dealing with a |
| repeating these things over and over. He finally gets | | | | child who is a bit out of the box. |
| the message usually by us taking away play dates. | | | | I found this quote that I thought was a great line: |
| He changes his behavior immediately when he knows | | | | A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of |
| he'll lose privileges. | | | | the world walks out." |
| So I guess I understand when I kept hearing our | | | | ~ Walter Winchell |
| best friends slip when they were talking about the | | | | And it made me realize, perhaps they weren't really |
| evenings their families got together and noticeably | | | | friends who would be there through thick and thin. |
| we weren't invited. Over and over it happened this | | | | That was the most hurtful thing at all that I thought |
| summer and my husband and I explained it away | | | | they were real friends and instead they were just |
| that they're all on the same baseball team or all go to | | | | friends out of convenience not commitment. |
| the same school. But then, last weekend at the Cub | | | | |