How to Maintain Relationships With Asperger's Disorder

The failure to develop friendships is often thea peer who shares a similar interest, his middle school
deciding factor in parents seeking an evaluation.Theyears will be far better than the child who is without
AD child cannot sustain friendships, partially due to hisa friend. Even if the friendship is based primarily on
rigid insistence of rules and his inflexibility in play. He ispursuing talk and activities related to their special
strictly bound to the rules and will not forgiveinterest, it can be a significant deterrent to
cheating by his peers. He tattles on his classmatesdepression.
and is oblivious to the social code of not snitching onThe ability to interact, get along, and develop and
your peers. His poor motor skills make him low onmaintain relationships is a powerful predictor of
the list of playmates for games. His need forcurrent as well as later psychological adjustment.
sameness may become more apparent and hisYoung children with poor social skills are unhappy, are
special interests become more developed. As healienated from their peers, have poor achievement
becomes more knowledgeable about his speciallevels, and have low self-esteem. Peer rejection in
interest, his monologues become longer and he isadolescence is even more destructive with increased
unable to have reciprocal conversations. His advancedschool failure, absenteeism, dropping out, and
vocabulary and knowledge continue to impress adultsdelinquency. In adulthood, our social skills play a large
but alienates peers who do not understand him.role in the type of work we are able to find and
While others their age are making deeper friendshipswhether or not we can maintain it. It determines
that involve trust, secrets, and common interests,whether or not we will have friends and romantic
teens with Asperger's Disorder, remains sociallypartners,and ever marry and raise a family.
isolated. The social patterns he displayed inFriendships are viewed by most people as a very
elementary school yearscontinue, and his peers areimportant part of life. Through friendships, we
even less willing to tolerate him. As cliques form atexperience feelings of being liked, valued, admired,
school, the AD adolescent is excluded. Lackingcared about, trusted, and loved. With this come
common social sense, the teen with Asperger'sfeelings of positive self-worth, a sense of belonging,
Disorder, is at risk of being the brunt of pranks orand feelings of worthiness.
egged on to act out inappropriate behaviors. He isThe inability to navigate the social world in childhood
also a prime candidate for public taunting andand adolescence has a profound effect on the social
ridicule.Fashion, fads, and trends are often ignored bylife of adults. Half of adults with AD report having
the teen with Asperger's Disorder, as he pursues hisonly one or two social activities in any given month.
unique special interest. Wanting to have friends, theMore than 35 percent have absolutely none. These
AD teen is at risk for depression as he becomesstatistics drive home the need for intensive social
increasingly aware with each passing year that heskills training during childhood and adolescence.
lacks the ability to change his social life. If he can find