Confessions From an Adult Asperger's Owner

I have been living my life as an "Aspie," a person withcan remember, in the mid 1950's. I have difficulty
characteristics of Asperger's Syndrome. Most of mydiscriminating voices when several people are
life I had no clue about what this was, but I now findspeaking, I am uncomfortable with breezes, or the
that there are quite a few people with the conditionwind from a fan. I like the soft feel of cotton on my
or who have children that are newly diagnosed withskin during the day, and the feel of very heavy
this. This is a first hand view of what it is and howblankets at night. But the strangest thing is that, for
life feels for one Aspie.me as an aspie, small-talk is hard.
In the mid 1900's, Psychiatrist Hans AspergerSo What can you do as either a parent with a child
chronicled his observations of several patients withwith aspergers, or an adult that suspects you have
autistic characteristics. These patients were notaspergers?
totally withdrawn as in extreme cases of autism.Up to now, there is little help from Science in a cure,
They had normal to high intelligence, vocabulary andor reversal of the symptoms. The research is still
ability to relate to their surroundings. Someongoing to find out exactly what is happening, and it
performed repetitive motions, had highly focussedis slow going, because of the wide variability in the
interests, most had trouble coping with changes to aconstellation of symptoms. It is very likely that
fixed routine.Aspergers is not a single diagnosis but really a wide
You can not catch Asperger's Syndrome because it isnumber of conditions that tend to have a similar
not Asperger's Disease. It is simply a normal variantoutcome.
of the human condition, not a defect.You can work from inside out, and from outside in.
There are several things that are part of theThe external approach is that your friends and
constellation of Asperger symptoms: These kids hadacquaintances just be made aware of the lack of
the ability to talk intelligently on a narrow range ofsociability is not from lack of want or trying, it is
interests, but were poor communicators outside ofmore like being 'socially deaf' and that some help and
those topics. An aspie may lack of coordination orguidance and tolerance might be welcome. The inside
small muscle control. This may show up in a lack ofout work is to learn coping skills and learning
ability in sports, especially team sports, and poor'awareness skills.'
handwriting. A couple of other symptoms are notable:It's a bit like learning to drive, It takes practice to
sensory aversion to some sounds or textures.learn when to accelerate, when to swerve and when
However, the most striking aspect about Asperger'sto stop. In the realm of emotions, to recognize the
seems to be a lack of awareness of social queues --subtle signs of someone's attitude shifts, and what
A lack of insight into what others are thinking andto do when they shift.
feeling and why. In other words, a kind of socialBut it is possible to learn: when a person has a
insensitivity. A seeming inability to understand thetendency towards Asperger's, the skills are learnable,
motivations of those around them.it is just not a gift that we get 'out of the box.' The
You can understand this best if you think of 'socialneuro-linguistic programming (NLP) skills of rapport
deafness' exactly as if there was a sense organ forbuilding and language analysis are a big help in this.
social information, like our ears process sound. YourWhere can you get help? If you are lucky enough to
ear processes and converts subtle air vibrations intohave a counselor who has HFA or Aspergers, that
sound and we can hear. Your 'social sensor' convertscounselor can be of immense help to learn the coping
those subtle queues that most people share aboutskills that are needed. A counselor who has no
social behavior. For an aspie, these are perceived,personal experience, may have great compassion,
dimly, if at all. Just as there are varying degrees ofbut likely just does not know what the 'social
hearing impairment, there are varying degrees ofvacuum' really feels like. Keep looking.
Asperger's. That is why it is part of what is called theAspergers is not all dust and ashes: it is not a death
Autistic Spectrum.sentence and there are advantages. Being a person
A person who is totally deaf, may never talk. Athat is separated from this invisible human
person with lesser impairment may speak with greatcommunication may allow you the freedom to
difficulty. A person with only slight deafness may onlyexplore your own interests.
miss certain sounds or mistake words. It is the sameDid you know that Asperger Symptoms have been
for Aspies: Even the highest functioning of us willnoted in some of the greatest people who have
strain to detect social nuances. We can seem totallyever lived? In fact, the constellation of Asperger
"out of it," or sometimes we can, with effort, stretchsymptoms are strongly associated with creativity,
ourselves to interact in a free-form social fashion,focus of concentration, determination of spirit,
sometimes with better results than others, but it isadvancement of science, spirituality, art and music.
almost always a strain, and may leave us needing lotsLiving without 'small-talk' can free your mind. And give
of time alone to process and recover our energy.you time and energy to pursue more personally
I have endured Asperger's symptoms ever since Iimportant goals.