| Reality. You say one lie (that you are | | | | you are a skinhead or neo-Nazi, you may |
| bold-faced aware you are saying), and | | | | have other things on your mind besides |
| you have just changed the game. You now | | | | how to seduce women. So ignore this |
| have to keep track of the lie, never | | | | article, won't you? When you ask her |
| forget it, and know that that lie is | | | | questions, for God's sake-or |
| what part of your potential relationship | | | | yours-LISTEN to the answer. Don't look |
| is now based on. For she will believe | | | | at her boobs. Don't keep saying uh-huh. |
| you. And one day, if you are both lucky | | | | Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Interact. |
| enough to get involved, she will find | | | | Health. The studies show that we are |
| out. And she will dump your ass. Or do | | | | attracted to the body and face that |
| a LOT of haranguing and | | | | represents the optimum reproductive |
| how-could-yous…. | | | | abilities and features. That is, white |
| In the same respect as you will be | | | | teeth, symmetrical shapes, etc., are not |
| yourself-nervous if you are nervous | | | | consciously sought after but certainly |
| (some girls find that adorable); clumsy | | | | part of the search. Brush, bathe, |
| if you are clumsy (some girls find this | | | | shave, etc.. And smell good. Whatever |
| endearing)-you will also remember that | | | | that means. |
| the girl you seek to impress might not | | | | Fairness. Do not put her on some |
| be the one for you…no matter how close | | | | Madonna (or Madonna/whore combo) |
| a next-door neighbor she is or how many | | | | pedestal. She is not Angelina Jolie. |
| years you all went to the same football | | | | She is not your mother. She won't make |
| games and movies. Do not bother | | | | love to you forty times a week. She |
| "bartering above your station" if she is | | | | won't cook for you or jump up from her |
| not the type to date your type. | | | | studies to do the dishes if you demand |
| Confidence. Don't think yourself | | | | it, expect it, or insist that Mommy |
| unworthy of every woman who walks into | | | | always did it for you. If you are just |
| study hall, either. Try, please, TRY to | | | | meeting her, don't tell her how much you |
| strike a healthy balance between "Ah, | | | | adore your mother or how many nights a |
| me," (ala Eyore) and the cock of the | | | | week Mom comes along on dates with you. |
| walk. We do not know how to handle | | | | In fact, if you're an actual Mommy's |
| either of you. WE don't know what to do | | | | Boy, don't even bother reading this. |
| with a whimpering one-other than play | | | | Positivity. Whatever You do, do not |
| armchair psychologist-and we don't know | | | | fake joy and sunshine and lollipops if |
| how to act around an egotist-other than | | | | your favorite pet just died, but try to |
| to giggle NERVOUSLY, as in DANGER to our | | | | see something good in every person you |
| self-preservation instincts, which are | | | | meet, not just the one that your biology |
| telling us to run. | | | | cannot ignore. Try to see, especially, |
| Interests. Have interests other than | | | | some good in yourself. Smiling and |
| guns. Talk about something besides your | | | | jokes are often great bonding |
| Nazi swastika collection. In fact, if | | | | mechanisms. So is "Hello. |